We might not like to admit it, but every time we deliver a presentation to management or explain something to a customer we are giving a performance.  In many respects it’s just like show business.

Every year we are inundated with a collection of “award” shows – Peoples Choice, Golden Globes, and the Academy Awards.  Every one of those programs pays tribute to how well actors portray their characters. Audiences “believe” in the characters, and they respond to the stories.

How does an actor get an audience to respond?  What tools does he have at his disposal?  Surprisingly, there are only a few!  He has words, of course – the script. But that isn’t enough because anyone can read the words. The conviction and the impact come from how well the words are packaged and delivered.

An actor uses his voice – volume, tone, pitch, pace, timbre; and he uses his body – hands, feet, arms, eyes to create the desired impression.

Those are the tools an actor has at his disposal, and they are exactly the same tools everyone in business has!

Although we all have the same tools, the approaches used by an actor and by a business professional often differ. The actor practices and perfects how he uses the tools.  He rehearses, evaluates, and revises; then rehearses again before he goes on stage or in front of the camera.

Businesspeople would be wise to take the same approach. Unfortunately, many don’t give sufficient attention to all of these elements required for successfully communicating ideas. They are “too busy” and believe words alone are sufficient to carry their ideas.  If an actor thought that, he would never be hired to play a part.

As a business professional, whenever you appear in front of an audience think about how you look, how you sound, and what are you doing when you deliver your words. Rehearse, evaluate, revise, and rehearse again as the actor does. Don’t just “wing it”?

Here are a few suggestions to assure you get the reaction you want.

Look directly at your audience.

Connect with them, not the ceiling or a “spot on the back wall.”

Talk to people – not to things – and that includes your notes.

Don’t get caught up speaking to your notes. You wrote them. You know what’s there.

Stand up straight. Well balanced but not rigid.

Let your hands help you show the size, shape, and impact of what you are describing.

Take your time. Take a breath.  If you talk too fast, you risk misspeaking or mispronouncing words, and your audience might become confused. You risk losing your audience’s attention, or you risk losing the sale.

Every time you appear before an audience, no matter the size, you are creating an impression. Every actor will tell you a successful performance begins with a good script, but then it must be interpreted and delivered compellingly.
Get a good script by preparing a good talk. Then deliver it well by using all the tools at your disposal.

You might not get an Oscar, but you might close a big sale, receive a positive performance review, or get a promotion.
For most of us, those are as good as an Oscar.

The newly announced US Secretary of Education, Arne Duncan, set a tone and maybe a standard for America’s schools with his recent acceptance speech.

He said, “John R. gave my sister and I the opportunity to start a…”

Gave my sister and I…  That’s wrong!!

If he can’t get his grammar right what can we expect from his leadership of America’s schools?

To help him, and any others who might need a refresher, I offer these items for consideration, guidance, and instruction.

“I” vs. “me”   “I” is nominative as in “I did this for you.”

“Me” is objective as in “You did this for me.”

NOT

“Me did this for you.”  or

“You did this for I.”

Here are some others for your consideration and mastery, Mr. Duncan.

Words define us today, and even though the “right” word is always expected of us, using the “wrong” word can have lasting negative  consequences.  Let’s look at a few common words and review what is generally considered to be “appropriate” usage.  This isn’t a lesson; it’s just a brief review which might help all of us as we navigate through our days.
There are certain pairs of words that can drive us to distraction, so I’ll start with them, make a few suggestions, and provide a some examples.
Media – Medium How often have you heard newscasters say, “The media is covering every aspect of this story.”?  That’s wrong.  The sentence should be, “The media are covering every aspect of this story.”  The word, “media” is a plural word, and it  always takes a plural verb.
“Medium” is the singular word.  You can talk about the television medium or the medium of radio, but as soon as all the varieties are put together they become the “news media”.
Over -  More I can’t guess how many times I’ve heard people say something like this.  “That will cost you over fifty dollars.”  Wrong!  “Over” is a location not a comparison.  “More” is the word to describe a comparison.  “That will cost you more than fifty dollars.”  is the correct usage.
Fewer – Less You see this misuse almost every time you walk toward the checkout stand in a supermarket.  Signs announce very clearly that specific lanes are for “20 items or less”  Wrong again!
The word “less” refers to quantity like water or grass seed.  “The less grass seed we plant, the less water we will need.”   “Fewer”, on the other hand, is an amount.  It refers to numbers, to things you can count.  “I have fewer boxes than you do, but your entire package weighs less than mine.”
Many – More These are much like fewer and less.  “Many” is a number, more” is a quantity.  “I have a great many dollar bills in my pocket, but you have more money than I do.”  See the difference?
Goes – Says Young people use this frequently, and it drives older people crazy.  Rather than saying, “He said…”, and She said…”  many young people say “He goes…”, and She goes…”  Wrong!  No one went anywhere.  “Goes” refers to traveling, “says” refers to speech.
Can – May This one gets more and more confusing as time passes.  “Can” denotes the ability to perform.  “I think I can do this job.”
On the other hand, “may” refers to permission.  “May I borrow your car?”

Anxious – Eager Both of these words relate to the feelings we have about an event we are expecting to take place in the future.  Although they are both future oriented, one is positive and the other is negative.  “Anxious”  means you are awaiting the event, but you are worried about it.  You have a bad feeling about the event, almost a dread about it.
“Eager”, on the other hand indicates you are looking forward with positive expectations.
For example, if someone were to say,” I’m anxious to see the results of the test you conducted.”, it means the speaker is worried about it and would probably rather not see the results at all.
However, saying, “I’m eager to see this movie” presents a completely different picture.  You’re really looking forward to it.
Between – Among These words have to do with numbers so it’s easy to remember which one to use.  If a person simply counts, the words will never be misused.
The word, “between” is used when there are only two objects.  “The flag was between the two trees.” is a clear example.  “I can’t decide between these two books.”  is another example.  If a speaker were to say, “The flag was between the trees.”,  the listener would know there were only two trees.  It’s that simple.
When there are more than two objects, use the word, “among”.  “My car is somewhere among all of those in the parking lot.”   Here’s another.  “Pick your team mates from among the four of us.”
If you count, you won’t make a mistake.
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Bring – Take They are often misused, but it’s easy to select the correct one.  “Bring” indicates movement toward the speaker, but  “Take” indicates movement away from the speaker.
“Bring the papers to my office tomorrow morning for me to sign, and then take them back to your office later in the afternoon.”  These words provide a very clear picture of the action.

Lend – Loan These are easy to remember if you think about what each word communicates.  “Lend” shows action.  It’s a verb.  If you lend something to someone you give them temporary use of that item.  A “loan” on the other hand is the item you are lending.  “Loan” is a noun because it names the item.
An example.  “If you can show me you will be able to repay this loan, the bank will lend you the money you request.” This would have been a valuable concept in recent months.
It’s important to remember that other people judge us by the words we use.  Specific words have specific meanings, and it is in our own best interest to communicate clearly and accurately.
We often hear people say, “What difference does it make if I don’t use exactly the right word?  People know what I mean.”  That might be true, but that kind of thinking requires the listener or the reader to determine your precise meaning.
If you use the wrong word when your listeners know the right word, you are telling them something about yourself that you might not intend.
Is that the message you want to send?  It’s just as easy to be correct as it is to be incorrect.  It just requires – and deserves – a little thought.
It’s your choice.

The fiction of the movie and the reality of the newspaper were very different.  I know it’s a stretch to connect the two, but it occurred to me both story lines focus on the same issue: ethical behavior and how we communicate messages to colleagues and customers.

We often hear that art reflects reality, but in this instance the messages of art and reality were in stark contrast.  Ethical behavior is evident in the movie, in fact ethical behavior is the central point of the film.  The newspaper story, on the other hand, detailed very different behavior.

In the movie, George Bailey wanted very much to get away from Bedford Falls in order to develop his career, but circumstances kept getting in the way.  His father’s death, his brother’s college education, and World Way II prevented him from following his dream.  In the face of each obstacle, though, George did what would be of help to someone other than himself.  His messages were consistently positive ones, and he did what would be valuable and helpful those who trusted him.

He wasn’t a martyr about this.  Sometimes he just got plain mad like when Uncle Billy lost the bank deposit.  But he did what had to be done.  He did the “right thing”.

Here’s the connection between the film and the newspaper story.  It’s behavior that counts! What’s important is how someone acts, not how someone feels.

And behavior in business communicates stronger messages than mere words do.

George faced the customers of the Building and Loan Company and stopped a run on the funds that could have ruined the company not just for himself  but for everyone who had invested in it.

Because of Uncle Billy’s mistake, George could have been “ruined”.  The bank examiner was certainly going to file charges, and since George was the CEO he would be the one to go to jail.  He would have “lost everything”.  This would have been the logical consequence to his behavior.

It’s interesting that we don’t hear much any more about anyone being “ruined” after questionable business behavior.  Many perpetrators today receive some short  term punishment but come out all right in the long run.  They aren’t ruined, only inconvenienced. Not so in the time and place of George Bailey.

The newspapers and the air waves have been filled with stories about the ways a few corporate executives have used company funds and methods to serve their own purposes.  In some instances they took money from the very companies they were entrusted to improve.  Even when they admitted guilt though, they weren’t “ruined”.

The primary responsibilities of a corporate executive include growing the company and protecting the financial investments of the stockholders.   Certainly, a CEO is entitled to protect and increase his own financial situation, but that can’t be done at the expense of stockholders.

Open, honest, and consistent communication among executives, Boards, and stockholders is essential for continuous growth.

Some business executives, though have behaved in ways which stockholders and the general public have interpreted as dishonest and disrespectful.  The widespread loss of jobs, pensions, and retirement funds today are what created those attitudes.  What the public sees and hears forms their perceptions.

There have been long debates about business ethics. But, there is no such thing as “business ethics”. There is only “ethics”.

All the debates and all the associated complications about ethics can be reduced to simple yes-no decisions.  Those decisions, and all subsequent actions, communicate the messages to our colleagues and our customers concerning our values and our ethics.

In the end the simple question is, “What is the right thing to do?”

George Bailey did what was right.  Some in business today have not, and their behaviors demonstrate they don’t value the lives and needs of others.

All of us in the business world are constantly sending messages to a wide variety of audiences, and our actions speak loudly.  As children, we were taught that, “Actions speak louder than words.”  That’s still true, and we have a responsibility to send those messages clearly, consistently, and regularly. Our constituencies are entitled to that.

George Bailey didn’t have much money, but his actions as well as his words demonstrated he had high values, strong ethics, and great respect for others.

Near the end of the film he was toasted as “the richest man in town.”

Wouldn’t it be nice if that could be said of each of us?

Have a Happy Holiday Season.

It happens every day, but many people think nothing of it because using credit cards is a regular part of doing business today. “Doing business”, however, is one thing, but giving away your credit card number is quite another.

How does it happen? Have you ever heard this message when you place a phone call to order an item or to make a hotel reservation?
“For training purposes your call is being monitored and recorded.”

Think about that for a moment. Your call is being recorded! Everything you say – including your name, address, credit card number, and expiration date – is now available to anyone and everyone who has access to that recording. And, you have no idea for how long it will be available or for precisely what purposes it will be used.

You might just as well put all that information on a supermarket bulletin board, nail it to a telephone pole at a busy intersection, or post it on the internet. You certainly wouldn’t do any of those things because it would be foolish. Well, what’s the difference between those actions and letting a total stranger record it?
Now, the companies that ask for such information when you call are requesting it for noble purposes. They want to teach their call takers to do their jobs well and to provide high quality customer service. Listening to actual conversations can be a valuable tool for them.

Their motivation, therefore, is pure, but their method is flawed. It’s intrusive, and it puts the caller in an awkward and compromising position. Service representatives, of course, need your credit card number when you make purchases and reservations. That’s how business in this country has evolved.
What they don’t need, however, is the right to record, reuse, and distribute that information without your permission. That’s your right to privacy and security. If you elect to give your permission to record and use that information, so be it. That’s your choice, but most of us would never do that willingly.
Most companies which employ such recording practices for training purposes don’t even extend the courtesy of asking the caller’s permission to make the recording. They simply say it will be done. If callers indicate they don’t want the recording made, the company representatives will not continue the conversation. They will not take your order if you don’t allow then to record the call.
This seems to be a strange way for anyone to do business because there is more emphasis on adhering to internal corporate practices than to developing positive relationships with customers. In many instances they drive away customers.
If you are a caller, and you hear the call is being recorded it’s in your own best interest to make a conscious decision about giving away that personal information. The company might be reliable at the moment, but perhaps some of the people who will have access to the information in the future won’t be.
If you represent a company which does this recording, at least ask permission from the callers, and accept their decisions. Give callers the option of sharing or protecting their personal financial data. That demonstrates respect for your customer. You can develop other means of teaching your employees what they need to know and do when talking to your customers.
Don’t allow corporate policy to supersede personal privacy and security concerns.

For more information visit my web site at: www.jrparkinson.com

For instance, at a recent meeting, senior management announced, “Corporate can’t afford to purchase new laptop computers for its instructional staff to use in delivering company programs any longer.”
That was a pretty clear position, but here’s the problem. Laptop computers had to be used for the delivery. Instructors were required to provide their own computers!
The company mandated the methodology, but the instructors had to provide the equipment. The company shifted the cost of doing business to their employees.
The cost is still there , but now others are responsible for it. How’s that for good management?
That’s not saving; that’s strong arm.
Further, that same senior management then said to the instructors, “If you choose not to use your own personal computers, you won’t be working for us any more.”
Again, strong armed, and intimidation at its worst.
A second example. With increasing frequency, classroom teachers are spending their own money in order to provide necessary supplies and materials for the students in their classes. The school system “can’t afford” what the students need. Teachers are expected – required – to buy the necessities or the students don’t have what they need. The school boards and the administrators are at fault. They’re not doing their jobs!
One more example. And this one is showing up in companies everywhere under the guise of efficiency. E-mail is being used to send all sorts of material that once was delivered in hard copy. Manuals, documentation, and even fully visualized presentations are now sent via e-mail.
The justification is, “Its fast, and its cost effective because we don’t have to print and mail material. It saves our staff a lot of time, and it saves a lot on paper cost.”
That’s just not entirely true. The material must still be printed, but the multiple receivers now do the printing with their own equipment and paper. Those same people must also use their time to complete the task. All the same work is still done, but because of corporate directions, someone else does it. All the costs are still present, but now someone else bears the burden.
Finally, many retail stores are now offering “self-service” check out as a “convenience” for their customers. This isn’t a convenience for the customer; this is simply a way for the company to save money.
By having the customer do the checkout, the company saves a significant transaction fee on every sale.
Since there’s a savings, the customer should get an employee discount because the customer is now working for the company. But the customer still pays full price.
Nice trick on the part of the company! Get someone else to do your work for you and then pay full price for that privilege.
When you are on either side of this issue – as a customer or as a corporate representative – look carefully at what is happening. It’s a basic truism that “someone has to do the work. Just be sure the right “someone” is doing it.
Be honest about what you expect and what you contribute. Costs are always present; but it’s always a choice as to who is paying.
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In the musical, “My Fair Lady”, Eliza Doolittle summed up what is necessary to convince others of our commitment and dedication. She sang, “Show me.” Part of the lyric said, “Words, words, words, I’m so sick of words!” If we think about it, it’s quite possible many of customers and colleagues might also be sick of words.
Certainly words are the great communication tools we all use every day in our respective businesses, but if they aren’t supported by actions, they become hollow. People judge us as individuals and as businesses by what we do, not by what we say.
We learned that lesson years ago when our parents and teachers told us that “Actions speak louder than words.” Yes, we may have learned it, but many of us seem to have forgotten that lesson. Many people use the “right” words, but they fall short demonstrating the appropriate action.
Here’s a suggestion that might help remind all of us of the importance of that lesson and provide a compass to guide our behavior. Start by demonstrating genuine respect for the people we deal with. Respect dictates that we treat others in a way that shows we care about them and about what happens to them.
If some of the people in business truly cared about their colleagues and their customers, many of the terrible recent business issues would never have happened. In the recent past we have seen this lack of respect demonstrated in a variety of ways. The people responsible for the disasters focused only on themselves and showed absolutely no respect for anyone else. Those executives are criminals, and they hurt many who trusted them.
Respect drives positive behavior, and lack of respect, likewise, delivers very different behaviors.
And it’s the behavior that people remember. In many business situations, customers have commented that in customer service situations, for example, they don’t remember what the representatives said, but they remember how those representatives made them feel. That’s true on both the positive and the negative side of the ledger.
Obviously, without customers, we go out of business. When we respect and take care of our customers they stay with us. If we don’t demonstrate that respect, our customers go to our competitors.
It’s all a matter of having choices and options. We choose how we behave, and the resulting message lasts a long time.

Try this little “behavior inventory” and see what you discover about yourself and about your business. It’s private, so no one else will see the results. Take a piece of paper and divide it into two columns. Label the column on the left, “How I feel about …”, and then list the following: …my family, … my co-workers, …my supervisors, …my customers, …my job. Add your own items.
Label the column on the right this way. “I show them how I feel by…” And then list what you do to convey your feelings. If it’s at all difficult to fill out that right hand column, maybe there is some serious work to do. If there is, this list will help identify the specific areas that deserve attention and action.
Effective communication is a lot more complicated than mere words, and this exercise might help avoid sending messages you don’t intend to send. We all want to be sure we don’t hear Eliza’s words coming from our customers and co-workers. Her words were fun and funny on stage, but they won’t be funny in our business dealings.
Here’s a parting example of words that don’t support behavior. How many times have you made a phone call which was answered by a recorded voice that said, “Your call is important to us.”? Then you’re told to wait for the next available representative! Other than hanging up, you have no other choice but to wait.
Most of us are sick of those words. If your call was truly important, a person – not a machine – would have answered the phone!
Eliza Doolittle had it right when she sang, “Show me.” Let’s all follow her advice.

That’s another word for multi-tasking. Inattention. Here are a few more. Rude, Insulting, Disrespectful, Arrogant. Feel free to add others of your choice.
The simple fact is the multi-taskers are telling others they don’t need to give their full attention to the material at hand or to the people presenting it in order to understand it. The material isn’t important enough or serious enough or difficult enough to warrant their full attention. They think they can follow everything by using only a part of their mental ability.
They feel full participation doesn’t require their full attention.

By their actions they are saying, “I don’t have to give you my full attention to understand what you are saying.” What a message to send to anyone! It’s rude; it’s disrespectful’ it’s insulting; and it’s arrogant.
In some seminars.

I’ve conducted, many participants have told me and others they actually prefer to attend meetings via teleconference calls. That way they don’t have to pay attention, and they can use their time to do other things they feel are more important while the teleconference is under way. If they don’t need to participate fully, why should such people be invited to attend in the first place? They are a distraction to other participants.
Here’s another element related to this meeting situation. If the multi-taskers are accurate, and they really don’t have to give complete attention to the discussion at hand, maybe the meeting shouldn’t be held at all. Sometimes meetings are held because it’s “Monday” – or some other day – rather than because it’s necessary. Often, that’s just a waste of time.
But back to the multi-taskers. I’ve seen many of them during teleconferences and during face-to-face meetings “check-in” to the discussion from time to time when they feel like it. When they do, they often ask a question that has already been asked – and answered. Sometimes they offer comments which are totally irrelevant because they missed the content when they were mentally elsewhere.
Their already-answered questions and their irrelevant comments waste the time of all the others who were staying on task. Multi-taskers don’t seem to be bothered, however, by wasting the time of others as long as they feel they are using their time well. That’s insulting. It says, “My time is more valuable than yours.” And that’s just not true.
When laptops are opened during a face-to-face meeting, they become barriers between the multi-tasker and everyone else. No one else in the room has any idea what the multi-tasker is doing; checking e-mail, writing a report, or carrying on a dialogue with someone else in the room.
More and more, people who run meetings, teach classes, or conduct seminars are directing all participants to turn off the electronic equipment. Politely, but firmly, they let everyone know there will be plenty of time during scheduled breaks to check e-mail, review phone messages, etc.; but their full attention and participation are needed and expected in order to make the session productive for everyone.
Whenever you run a meeting or conduct a class, you are entitled to the full attention and participation of everyone else in the room or on the teleconference. So, set the rules clearly and politely. It’s your meeting.
When you do that, you’ll help the multi-taskers learn to be polite and attentive.

It’s hard, and it’s often uncomfortable to learn new lessons, but that’s what growth is.

Setting the rules will present multi-taskers with a good lesson, and you’ll teach them how to behave as true business professionals.

They may not like it, but you’ll be doing them a favor.

Whatever the title, the concept was the same. Be sure your techniques and skills are better than those of your counterpart. If they aren’t, you won’t do well in any interaction or contest. Thus, the working title. If you ever get into any kind of contest with a kangaroo (very unlikely, of course) don’t pick kicking. You’ll lose!

In business we are constantly describing and defending ideas and territories. Clearly, the products and services we offer contribute greatly to our success, but there is another significant element to consider. That’s communicating. We’ll deal with a variety of communication elements in later pieces, but here I want to look at a specific aspect of good communication. That’s listening.

Because most of us focus more on talking than we do on listening, here are a few ideas to consider and practice in both business and pesonal situations.

When you listen – really listen. If you do that, you’ll get more information than the words alone convey. You’ll become aware of the tone of voice, the posture, the geatures, the facial expressions, etc. Every one of those sends a strong message if we pay attention. All of those factors contribute to understanding a message.

Here is an interesting example of that complete message. An orchestra conductor was looking to hire a pianist. Friends of the conductor told him of a talented young man they thought would be an excellent candidate. When he auditioned, he played flawlessly. But he wasn’t hired.

The candidate’s friends asked the conductor why he hadn’t selected the young man who had played the audition composition perfectly. The conductor responded this way. “Yes, he played the composition exactly as written, but we need someone who doesn’t just play the notes. We need someone who can play the music.”

Effective listening is like that. Don’t listen only to the words. Listen to the entire message. Here’s how.

Listen for Key Words. What is the speaker saying about his boundaries? Are there important dollar costs, time frames, percentages, deals, payment conditions and options? What is really important and necessary?

Listen for Key Ideas. What does the speaker really want. Must he win, or is a compromise acceptable?

Listen for Pressure Points. These are the emotional factors that make a person act or react. What is most important to the speaker? Is it success, avoiding failure, a promotion, or just holding on to a job?

If you demonstrate you are truly interested in the person behind the words and not the words alone, you’ll develop a strong personal relationship. That’s what makes business last.

Find those Pressure Points by asking questions and by giving gentle direction. The best questions, of course, are the open questions What?’ Why?’ and How?. The gentle directions include these lines: “Tell me more”, “For example”, and “What else should I know?”

You’ll collect additional information simply by keeping the other person talking. While you’re listening, be sure to send your own positive signals. Look ‘em in the eye! Sit up straight. Lean forward when appropriate. Nod your head. Take notes.

When you use those signals to demonstrate you’re giving full attention, you’ll encourage a continuing flow of information. The more information you collect, the better able you’ll be to present your ideas in a way that will be seen as a contribution to the other person.

A final thought here. When the other person is talking, be sure you are actively listening. Don’t start thinking of what you’ll say as soon as you have a chance to talk. If you don’t pay close attention all the time, you’ll likely miss important information.

Use these skills and techniques, and you’ll be better prepared to continue the dialogue, make a sale, or provide a service. When you know more about a subject or situation than your counterpart does, you’ll be able to use that strength and information to make your own case.

Use your strengths against your opponent’s weaknesses, and you’ll “Never Kick a Kangaroo”.